Beginning

God I want to fall in love. More than I want to fall in love, I want to be loved. I know you love me and have loved me since before the foundation of the world. But I want it to be real in my life.
I confess that my relationship with You has not been important to me. I've viewed it as just another homework assignment. I have addictions that are idols in my life - facebook, texting, music, relationships, my job... I'm sure there are more. 
Thank you for being faithful to me even when I've been faithless. I want to study your word - to meditate on it and hide it in my heart. That's the first step I need to take in order to have intimacy with you. 
I want to feel guarded and protected - so I don't give my heart away again. IT should be hidden in You. But I've pursued other pointless loves instead of God who is Love.
I have been shallow and let church or student venture or chapel and Bible classes define my relationship with You. But that's not what it's about. You see my heart and what goes on in secret. 
Forgive me for holding back certain areas of my life instead of surrendering them to You. I need help to let go. 


First, I want to learn how to pray effectively. I want to study prayers in Scripture and observe them. I'm not sure how to interpret them, but I want to apply them to my life and the way I pray. 


I don't want to feel like I can't pray. I don't want to feel like my prayers are stupid and don't matter.


I want to pray with confidence that God WILL answer according to His plan. I want the faith it takes to pray  and have confidence. I want to be sure of your answers to prayer. I want to know for sure that I'm doing what you want me to do. I am your workmanship - I've been created for a purpose and I want to learn that purpose and fulfill it. I want my relationship with you to be above all - more important than school, family, work, friends, anything... I want to be completely dependent on You sustatining me.